OK,  Ladies and gentlemen,   here is a rant.  

 FIRST OFF,  Let me make a few things clear.  

1.         This may anger or upset some of you.   I am aware, and while it is not intentional,  I feel that my opinion is needed,  is understandable,  and is something that is worth consideration.    

2.       I realize that there are some who will read this, and without consideration of anything I have said,  will brand me a horrible person.     That is something that I cannot fix, and will no further concern myself with.     Please,  feel free to not partake in anything I have to say further.

3.       Profanity will be used as an enunciation to my writing.   I feel very frustrated, angry, and appalled by things of late.   Using a profane word is the only way that I can find, using text,  to really get the message of my ire across.    Please forgive that.

4.       I will reveal things about how I see the world, and how I perceive the people in it.   This may upset some of you.   I cannot help that.

5.       This is NOT REQUIRED READING.   You do not need to read, consider,  think about, ruminate, ponder,  emphasize, or take part of this in any way.  I am not trampling your rights,  your soul or your religion.     I am putting my opinion out into the universe, and there it will be done, energy expelled, and no longer a burden on my mind.

Without further ado,  I will proceed.  Once you pass this sentence, you cannot blame me for anything.  I have given you enough warning.

So, In recent news on the internet,  Cecil the Lion was shot by a trophy hunter.    Within the last two days,   another collared lion was shot and killed as a trophy.   These events are sad,  they are pointless,  and they are really shitty.  With this, I will agree.   I am, myself,  a hunter.   I hunt game animals for food.  As I pursue further avenues of education and knowledge,  I will widen my uses of the anumals that I hunt to include the bones for tools,  the hides for clothing and materiel, and other uses.   As of now,  I have legally hunted animals for food only.    I cannot say that I will NEVER shoot a bear, a wolf, a lion or any number of rare or prestigious animal,  but I can say that if I am ever hungry enough to do so,  chances are I am being hunted right back.

I used to shoot gophers as a kid.   When someone called me out about the whole “Don’t shoot it if you are not going to eat it”  argument,  I agreed whole heartedly,  and proceeded to eat the gopher I had shot by cooking it on a stick on an open fire.  

I have not shot gophers since.

That, however,  is not why we are here.   We are here about cecil the lion.   We are here about trophy hunting. And we are here about the chaos that such a thing seems to have brought onto the world.

To start,  I do not agree with trophy hunting.  I think I have made that clear.   HOWEVER,  I do not agree with the hate that this man has received, and what this new hunter in the news will now endure.   

First off,  these were PAID and GUIDED hunts.    These hunts were LEGAL in the countries in which they occurred, and where sanctioned by the state.  They were NOT within a protected area as declared by that country,  and they were not clandestine.   Using the word “Poached”  is fucking inflammatory and moronic.   To use it here is to make people more irrational and angry when they need to think about it and use their heads and common fucking sense.    Thank you all, for making it worse.

 Poachers kill animals illegally, and waste them.   They do not post their pictures, they do not brag about their kills.    What they do is a crime, and bragging and posting will GET THEM CAUGHT.    Its ironic that when it comes to interpreting the meaning of these pictures,  that the criminal element is the one being considerate of the outcomes.    

The lions were killed by people PAYING to go do so.  Despite what people are not going to say,   these hunters are putting money into the economies around where they are hunting.    Not a good enough reason,  you say?  Fine.    Find some other way to support those populations.   Give up your latte every day, and send them the money.     People are only seeing a dead lion,  and nothing else.

Next,   to all of you who think that Americans are the only ones with this “Hunter” culture,   you better fucking pick up a history book.   The British and the Germans hunted for centuries.  The British practically INVENTED SAFARI HUNTING FOR SPORT.      People seem to forget that the white population of the North American Continent come from fucking Europe, and as such, brought their traditions with them.   The Czechoslovakians or Albanians or whoever hunt bears for sport,  and the Chinese feed the poacher market for shit like rhino horn or tiger liver for their fucked up little libido pills that don’t do shit.   But no one seems to be in an uproar about that.

The man who shot cecil?   A dentist I believe.    Or was, until protesters shut him down.  Over what?  A cat?   OK,  the man is a fucking asshole who needed to feel macho and kill a lion.  I’ll agree,  he is a douche.   Did he roast that lion on a goddamn spit?   No?   Well, dentist man,   you are a grade A cocksmoker and, well, fuck you.    But No,   I won’t go out of my way to destroy your business,  make you close your doors,  make your family have issues,  and more so,  PUT YOUR EMPLOYEES OUT OF WORK, AND CAUSE THEM AND THEIR FAMILIES HARDSHIP.   You internet people,  who get out your pitchforks,  who have avenged a dead cat,   have caused NUMEROUS INNOCENTS issues.    If that Dentist has 5 assistants,  two secretaries, and 3 nurses on staff, lets say each with three family members (makes a house hold of four people),  you and you” internet justice”  have removed the income from FOURTY people.    And before you say “That’s what they get for working for an animal murderer”, STOP THE FUCK IN YOUR TRACKS, AND ASK WHEN THE LAST TIME YOUR HIGH RANKING BOSS TOLD YOU SHIT ABOUT HIS PERSONAL LIKES.  Stop and ask yourself if, when you got your job,  that pays for your internet,  clothing, car, phone, computer, lattes,  food,  beer and feeds your families,   did you ever consider turning the job down because of some future event your boss could possibly do. 

I bet you haven’t.   And I am willing to bet that no one will have the guts to walk into their place of work tomorrow and ask their boss if they are a hunter.   And I am willing to bet that the need for your stuff,  for your things,  will outweigh your need to tell your boss off for being a hunter.

Now that we have made a villain of a man who shot it for fun,   are we going to lose our collected minds on the people who’s culture revolve around hunting and killing?   Masai and Zulu tribes, I believe,   hold killing a lion as a high esteem even in a young man’s voyage to adulthood.    Or what about Inuit and the Aleut natives in Alaska,  who get to go out and hunt whales for food and cultural heritage?   Are we all wise and knowing internet people going to vilify  and destroy them?

So, Here, the lion thing is put to rest.    The lion getting shot is tragic, yes,  but it happened.   Now the repercussions down the line will do NOTHING other than cause conflict.  Happy arguing I guess.  I haven’t the time for it.

But NOW,  we come to an interesting thing,  as question.    It has arisen, in this arguing,  that hunting and eating of meat is natural. And, naturally,  out come vegans and vegetarians who wave the bloody shirt,  or hide,  whatever you want to call it,  and say that there is no reason and meat is murder,  etc. etc. etc.

Here is my question:  In your perfect world,  when there is no more meat, no more hunting,  no more leather,  what will you do with the animals?

This is a serious question.  

Animals,  like humans (which are a fucking animal),  and like most every other organism on the planet, including plants,  consume resources.  Trees, plants, and Fungi consume water and nutrients from the soil.  Animals drink water, eat food, reproduce,   eat and drink and reproduce,    in the circle of life until they die,  where as their bodies rot,  provide food and nutrients back into the soil,  and then the process repeats.

However,  this planet is only so big.  This planet is finite.   This planet cannot sustain everyone and everything and every organism if there is more resources being consumed than there are being replenished.   

No meat?  What will you do with the cows and other livestock that have been bred for that purpose?   Let them free?  To vie with the wild animals for resources? 

What about the animals dependent on us?  Dairy Cows in the US don’t even know what a bull is.    That’s right,  because we humans have had to change and control everything,  there is a species of cow that can’t fuck!   Worse,  even if they figure it out,   they have such issues with natural, unassisted birth,  that they are completely dependent on the farmer to help them!

What will you do to control their populations?  You do not want to kill them,  so how do you control them?   Animals that breed faster than the attrition rate of nature on their population will outstrip and decimate their resource bases.    Mice plagues in Australia are the perfect example.   Explosions of populations of mice  that consume everything in their path,  migrate and consume more until the only thing left is EACH OTHER.   So many mice that the roads are impassible because the trucks will lose control because, instead of road surface, they are hydroplaning on the crushed bodies of millions of mice!

What about spaying, neutering,  gelding or otherwise rendering them unable to breed?   You then have an animal that consumes resources with NO return to the world order.     Violent rapists and murderers in prison,  they are fed,  housed and cared for,  yet return nothing to society or nature.   These are a drain on resources that are already unacceptable.
Also, a fixed animal cannot breed, and therefore,  cannot extend the species.    If you fix all the animals,  they will eventually die, and then there will be no more.

Let predators take care of them?    A healthy pack of Wolves will only take out the old and the sick when it comes to elk.   The healthy population survive to consume more resources.   If a pack takes out one healthy, breeding elk out of 20,  you still have 19 elk that will create 19 more.    And obviously,  these are small, microcosm numbers here.   Imagine on an actual scale?    70000 elk in a place, and the wolves kill 1000 of them,  you have 69000 elk that will create (lets say there is a 50/50 split in gender) will 34500 more if breeding successfully.   

This is all arbitrary numbers though.   They are illustrating a point.

Now, though, what about Humans?  Forget all other animals, Humans are the worst.  We consume and destroy and move and repeat the process all over the globe.  And we consume more than just food and water.   Lumber, rock, oil, gold, metals, soil health.   We render places dead to the point where the resources can’t come back!    And yet,  NONE of these people who are outraged at a lion being shot seem a bit goddamn concerned about the Human Problem.   We can’t even take care of our own kind,  where the fuck do we get off thinking we can take care of the world animal population.

OH, and Vegetarians and Vegans?   You want us to eat only what is grown?   Great Idea.    Are you going to see the whole planet turned into a farm to feed the world population tofu and soy?   What are you going to do when you need to expand the farms into the wildlands, taking resources away from the animals?  What then? Are you going to expend the resources,  consume what is required,  to grow and harvest and farm and repeat on your crops on a level that will feed a world population of 20 billion?

HUMANS EAT MEAT.   You want protein without meat?  Eat fucking bugs!    Paleo Man and the Paleo diet?   Most of that protein came from Bugs, and Carrion.    SO,  cock roaches and Road kill.     Guts and marrowbones and rotted flesh when something fresh could not be sourced.     How is that for a paleo diet?  

And that is really what I think is truly fucked up,  is the whole screaming mess of it all….I think that Cecil the lion,  a giant cat,  that I have never heard of before this story broke,  is getting more press,  more outrage, and more conviction then that Woman in India who was gang raped to fucking death on a bus by some 30 guys.    Congratulations,   you have let us all down, internet.      So,  a human life,  extinguished in violence,  is less important than a goddamn cat.     To be honest,  if it cured the world of rape and violence and racial or religious hatred,  I would hunt down and kill every last one of the lions on this planet.   I would sacrifice all of them for the greater good.  

Where is your loud voices stopping rape?

Where are your loud voices condemning continued police and racial violence?

Where are your loud voices making political change happen in this country?

Where are your loud voices calling for the hungry to be fed,  the homeless to be sheltered, and the sick to be made healthy?

Where are you protesters,  you vigilantes,   when it comes to shutting down corrupt politicians and greedy businesses?

Apparently,  you are all paper tigers.    No bite against big things,  because it has all been surpassed and muted by the killing of a lion.

Is changing what can be changed,  what needs to be changed, too much for you all?
 

How many of you don’t give a fuck about the lion,   but feel like if you aren’t screaming about it,  you are a loser?

How many jumped on this bandwagon to feel like you were a part of something,  and will jump on the next one to be “part of something?”

How many of you are actually willing to change this fucking world,  to risk yourself,  to be uncomfortable, to bleed  and willing to sacrifice shit to get stuff done?   

I think maybe 5.    I think maybe not that many.    Frankly,   I have little to no faith in anything the human race has to offer.      Apparently,  I just need to join the rest of the sheep, and get angry about a lion.

IMAGINE HOW THE WORLD COULD BE CHANGED IF WE ACTUALLY GOT ANGRY AND HAD CONVICTIONS ABOUT THINGS THAT MATTERED!

Rant over.   If you have made it this far,  I can only hope one thing:   Not that I changed your mind,  or convinced you.     I can only hope that I have made you see that ALL things have Multiple angles,  and all need to be acknowledged.

Fear. Simple, pure, dangerous fear.

I am afraid.

I am a 6'3,  260 pound, angry Irish Scot with the imposing nature of a dreadnought battleship and I am genuinely afraid of the world.

"Why?"  is the first question many of you will ask.     And "Why"  is the reason I am writing this.

Our world has gone mad,  and America gone completely and utterly insane.      Beyond insane.     Goofy, cartoon dictators are insane.   People in padded rooms,   screaming about how their cheerios are telling them to enact genocide on garden gnomes, are insane.

This place called America is so beyond the layers of insane that I really cannot come up with a word to say to describe it.

Today,  I saw on the news,  CNN,  which is supposed to be a reputable news source,  that there was a shooting at an Anti-Islam rally in Texas.   Of course,  the gunmen are dead,  and of course,  there is one "that has ISIS sympathies."    The group holding the rally,  some right wing loons escaped from this reality,  are of course fueling this fire of fear.  
The news is fueling the fear.    This has been "Breaking News"   for what,  24 hours?   I am sorry,  but there is NO goddamn fucking way that the feds or law enforcement know ANYTHING about the gunmen.    This is not a TV cop drama.   Evidence just doesn't pop up within the 43 minute episode right when they need to start piecing together clues.    This is shit that is made up to scare the people of this country.  To control by fear.

How do I know this?  Well,   you take a rape case, and you look at the victim and the rapist.   That rapist is "A Suspect".  The authorities will not give out his name,   his address,   or a definitive "Yes" or "NO"   that he did it until the rapist is found guilty and is safely in police custody.   This is done to prevent some vigilante from knocking on this mans's door with a 12 gage shotgun and emptying the barrels into his chest when he opens it thinking its pizza.     This is collateral damage,  and is not acceptable.    NO one wants to take the responsibility of it if someone in this dance gets hurt.

However,  there seems to be no consideration for that here.    I want to know,  I demand to know,  how many peaceful Muslims,  or people that the uneducated public will confuse for "Muslim",   will have violence enacted upon them because of this?    How Many?

No answer for me?   Of course not,  because the moment it happens,  the TV stations will have lawyers in fast German sports cars roll up and say "This is our official statement:  we had no idea this would happen"

Which is goddamn bullshit.   Even more Bullshit?  The fact that people believe it.    The fact that the right wing nuts are getting their 15 minutes in front of the camera.  
This shit horrifies me.   Everything said is such obvious padding to some sort of ridiculous agenda that it makes me want to vomit, and yet people take it to be true!

HOW!?!?!?   I cannot even fathom it.    I might just be a special case,  but I see something wrong with that.  I see the wrongness of the fear mongering,  the hate, the blatant Racism that permeates the whole goddamn lie,  and yet people eat it up like pigs in slop.

Tell me,  WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY?

This is just another in a long ass list that includes Police Brutality,  Corporate Personhood/Corp
  Govt,   The blatant idiocy of people like Texas Governor deploying the Nat. Guard to stave off an "invasion"   for the votes of his constituents.   That man should be executed for his actions right there.    The blatant fact that global warming,   health of our food,  the drug pushers in big company form, the neglect of our veterans, the greed and the forced poverty that abound.....

I'll stop there.    Going on makes me want to hurt people.

And that scares me.    Just like all of the above, that scares me.

It scares me so much that I am taking my family off grid, as soon as goddamn possible.    It scares me so much that I am going to start carrying a weapon in public.   It scares me so much that I don't want to stay in this country any more.
That statement will get met with some sort of comeback from "patriots"   in the form of "grow up and die, pussy faggot homo commie"  or "I'll fuckin kill you."  

No one thinks any more.   This country is spiraling down like a plane on fire,  and NO GODDAMN PERSON will accept that the problem is people.

Not Different Religions

Not Different Sexualities or genders

Not "Obama"

Not "ISIS"

Not "ISLAM"

Not any of these irrational fears the media has created.
These are not the problem.   These are not the problem because ANYONE WHO THINKS CRITICALLY  can see past the smoke and pony show,  and can address them properly in a sane fashion.


The problem is the culture that we have created.     It is the uneducated,  blithering sheep that the fundamentalist christian or right wing or racially driven movements of this country have created.   It is the inability of   the average american to use their goddamn brain and look around,  instead of succumbing to fear and hate.


And here is the biggest problem of all:   I am so lost as what to do, so swamped by the sickening bullshit,  that my critical thinking mind wants to do nothing more that grab a gun and rain some hell down on these problems.  
Its come to that final solution that there is no heal,  there is no educate,  there is only remove the problem.

You cut the bruise out of the apple,  the diseased from the herd,  the rotten from the clean.  

It horrifies me that I am thinking like that.   It horrifies me that I feel that I am capable of doing it.

It horrifies me that I think that it NEEDS TO HAPPEN.

And I know it won't work.


I know that it won't work,  and that no one has the wherewithal or objectiveness or the right to do such a thing.     I know that EVERY effort to change this world for the better, in America, at least,  will be villainized by those who stand to lose money,  and that there will always be the infectiously ignorant..

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do, short of grab my gun and protect my family.

I just want to go my own way.   I want to be left alone.  I want to raise my daughter in a place that will foster her growth and her soul and where she doesn't have to be afraid.  

But,  I can't.  This fucked up world will still get in and poison what I love.

So my daughter will learn to shoot.   She will learn to fish. She will learn how to farm and live off the land.  She will learn to not be a victim,  and to bring hell down on those who try to victimize her.   She will learn kindness,  which is inherent to all of us,  and to be not afraid to be kind.    She will learn that faith is for herself,  not for a church or for a club or for any other person other than her own self,  and that faith is not a tool for hate.   She will learn that we are all human, and that we have the ability to be at peace. She will learn that her imagination is the only thing saying yes or no to the possibilities.

And I can only hope that she will learn to forgive me for being an angry,  resentful,  hateful and fearful person..

I am afraid.

THE BURN!!!!

Bleh......well, my brain hurts. It feels the burn. Mental work outs suck. I just punched out an 8 page paper in 1 1/2 hours on Racism, race and ethnics.......yeah. it sucks.. Not to mention I have 44 pages, 3 maps, two artifact drawings, one movie to compile and a report to put in a binder by......Dec 1st. BLAH! Drinks are needed!

My birthday was Monday. Yay. I am 27 now....I will finish my BA before I am 28.....I hope.

Work, well, that sucks. Just take my word for it. The job is great, the boss is a fuckwit.

And It is really cold here. Like living on Hoth. just without the walkers and taun tauns.

VICTORY IS MINE! Well, in one battle I suppose. I got a raise at work today. Win indeed. I shall celebrate in two weeks on my birthday with a present to myself of a Ka-Bar Kukuri machete, like this. (See picture). Wee.

Bleh.....Today sucks.

I am glum today. well, this afternoon I guess. The morning started so so, went for a walk, didnt see anything i could shoot, even though I stumbled onto a bull moose. Then got called into work. wee. then came home at 2 and watched a movie. This is what made me glum. I have realized that my life, as it is, is a rather sad non-event in the world around me, and that for some goddamn reason I hate and fear this feeling with a seething passion. I am truly scared to death of being forgotten and insignificant. Don't rightly know why this is such a bother to me, but it is. I look back on my life and see.......nothing. Nothing grand, I suppose. I haven't explored. I haven't camped. I haven't gone to concerts or anything like that. I haven't learned lots of things I want to know. It is depressing, which in turn makes me want to give up.

Fuckadee, Fuckadoo. Wee, angst.

Look for something, Find something better.

Well well.....today has been an up and down day. It started at 730 am, the lowest part of my day, when my friend Bradley and I hop in my truck and start off on a hunting trip. We got 1 1/2 blocks from my house. Why? Because a repair I had originally made on my truck failed (NOT THE TRUCKS FAULT) and the poor girl hemorrhaged 7 quarts of ATF all over the road. Joy. so I had to fix that. it wasn't a hard fix, but laying under a truck in 40 degree weather with semi-warm ATF dripping in your face isn't exactly what I would call an enjoyable morning. Lukewarm ATF is the color and consistency of blood....bleh.

BUT, I got it fixed. Shame I didn't get to take a walk this morning. which is sad, because this was the day, by murphy's law, that all the shootable deer were going to be where I was going. Alas and sigh and all that.

On a happier note, I did manage to find not only a diagram for my research project, but I found complete engineering diagrams, cutaways and internal drawings of the B-17. This way I can match parts found on my lil safari to an actual place on the aircraft, and give a breakdown of what survived the crash. It will all come together and people can read it in my report if anyone wants it. After i turn it in of course. Anyway, I think I'll post some pics here for everyones viewing pleasure. Cheers.

Update....Let me brush off the dust and dirt

So....Yeah, I started this blog in like.....2008, when I was down in Oklahoma. It was supposed to be a record for my time there. I don't recall ever actually doing anything with it.

Which brings us to it now. I am going to start posting blogs again. Wee. Now, I have homework to finish..